Risky Behavior

There is no excuse I tell myself. And when I rat myself out for not taking my meds there is always a price to pay. It is not the attention I seek, it is the rebellious nature that still plagues the undercurrent of arrogance  in my unconscious.  And the only way for me to accept my plight is to establish firmly that the risk I take for sudden death is increased dramatically. If it is only 1% the chance is too great. I have too many people that I am responsible for and even though I do not rely on it, there are those that love me deeply as well. 

Not Exactly Bruce Jenner

When the heart has it’s own agenda there’s not much you can say or do about it. It beats in a rhythm designed based on the life we have lived. Oh sure there are some genetic codes it adheres to, but the course that it runs reflects the lifestyle we have lived. Although I have not exactly lived the life of Bruce Jenner, some of his training may have done some of the thickening of the walls of my left ventricle. It would be more apropos that this anomaly that causes my atrial fibrillation have a connection to the more deleterious intervals of my life, alcohol and cocaine addiction. It seems that running is not a natural body movement, so maybe I was taking on a practice that my body was simply not programmed to do. Although at the time running gave me great joy for at least a little while but in the end it lay me open to the addictions I just mentioned.   

Caffeine

Living with a big heart. Does that ever mean that I feel more vividly?  I like to think so but I know better. I was always a soft hearted man by nature. I don’t know where that came from because it certainly wasn’t a characteristic my father showed me or my mother for that matter. So I don’t think my over developed left ventricle has anything to do with the way I feel. 

No events to report these past couple of weeks, not even a mild tremor. I have kept my caffeine consumption in check but it’s the summer so that is no real feat.  When the cool  of fall arrives the real test begins. I have to develop a different set of beverages like more water and even some sports drinks to take the place of the bad habit caffeine is for me. 

My Beta Blocker

My heart has been quiet of late. My consumption of caffeine has been kept to no more than two cups of coffee per day, so that might have been part of the reason I have not had an episode. What continues to make me happy though is that even in extreme exercise I have not had an event. Take today for example, an hour of spinning in the advanced class with our best instructor Kristen Gagne and then a strenuous half hour of upper body weight with a trainer. He had me gasping for breath but it did not induce palpitations.

My confession is that I have been hit and miss on taking my 5 mg of Bystolic, my cardiologist recommended beta blocker. The medication does have a carry over effect because I still get out of breath by the time my HR gets to 140. This ceiling is a frustrating one because it's almost like I keep bumping my head whenever I start exercising. My doctor told me that the beta blocker is in effect making my heart more efficient. I think it's a pain in the ass, because for all the working out I do, being out of breath so quickly makes me feel I am out of shape. I was so used to as a young man being able to go a long time before I went anaerobic but now it seems to happen within minutes of most of my workout sessions. I think my resistance to take my meds is purely stubbornness on my part but as I write this blog I am vowing to be more dedicated not only for me but for my family as well.  

Jim Fixx

There was a time during my marathon running days that I thought I was invulnerable to ever having a heart attack. I had read somewhere that running a marathon, even one assured you of never having heart disease in your life time. Certainly a popular myth because shortly after reading that snippet, Jim Fixx died. He was a runner who wrote the famous book:The Complete Book of Running. Jim helped start the long distance running craze in this country. He died while running in 1984 of a fulminant heart attack. Jim's famous legs and fantastic physique belied the fact that he had an enlarged heart. And so I take my LVH seriously enough that I have no extended lease on life. Just ask Jim's family.  

False Alarms?

Today in spin class I felt a tiny twinge on the left side of my chest but it left in but a few moments. I wonder if these are warning signs or just benign events.  I intend to ask my cardiologist if he will participate in this blog.  I don't know if I can find the readership to make these entries helpful and more importantly to let others know they are not alone.

I notice when I grip the handlebars when I bike outside or spin inside that my left hand goes numb. I can shake it off quite quickly but I wonder too if that is a side effect of LVH.  I try hard not to grip the handles too tightly,  but to no avail. This might be more related to some circulatory issues that I may be having as I get older and not due to my condition I am not sure. All I know is that I have to start paying better attention to my diet and that extreme exercise will not be the panacea it used to be when I was in my 30's.

The Low Ceiling

It is much to my chagrin that after spending so much time at the gym these past 7 years and more recently exercising again in the extreme while at spin classes, I still find myself out of breath even ascending a flight of stairs. It is something I have resigned myself to because my heart reaches it's ceiling rather quickly. It matters little that my stamina or my level of fitness has improved markedly since February of this year because I am still experiencing what another might consider the heart of a couch potato. 

I have to learn to live with it and the mere fact that I am exercising without an event  means to me that my irregular heartbeat is not exercise induced.  I think that I have episodes from either too much caffeine or when I sublimate my stress levels below the pre-conscious and conscious levels of thought.  I have no scientific evidence of this claim but as I approach 60 I am determined to monitor my BP more regularly as well as when I do have an episode what the preceding 24 hours were like. 

Runners Heart

Athletic training. Intense, prolonged endurance and strength training can cause the heart to adapt so that it can handle the extra workload. In some people, these changes may lead to left ventricular hypertrophy (MayoClinic.com).

I have been living with LVH for quite some time. I do not have a high BP for the most part and my readings when I donate blood and more recently platelets has been spot on normal according to the talented phlebotomists at Melville Blood Center.

So where did my condition originate from?  My cardiologist’s hypothesis is from my long distance running a half lifetime ago. I was a marathoner and ultra-marathoner in my 20s and 30s, and this is possibly how my left ventricle got enlarged. I don’t have a family history of heart disease.

Running gave me a new lease on life after I had lost 75 pounds that I had put on in four years of college. I went into military school at 140 and came out at 215.  Weight Watchers was my formula and I was able to eradicate most of that girth in approximately 4 months time. Probably too fast, but I adhered to the regimen the program set forth at that time and it produced prodigious results. 

I started running in April of 1975 and by October of that year I was running in my first marathon in Central Park, one year before that race took to the streets of the 5 boroughs. 

Prompted by My New Reality

Is this you? It is for me.

Left ventricular hypertrophy is enlargement (hypertrophy) of the muscle tissue that makes up the wall of your heart's main pumping chamber (left ventricle). (MayoClinic.com)

It is my intention to bring this condition to light. To talk about it as it affects our everyday life. Whether you are active like I am or want to be or have no intention of.